Tuesday, September 21, 2010

On Our Way to the Funeral Home

How do you choose a burial outfit for your baby? A terrible question. One I asked my friend, who 3 1/2 weeks before Quinn was born, gave birth to a sweet little baby boy with Trisomy 18. He lived for almost 2 hours.

Lightning doesn't strike twice in the same place. Or is that just made-up saying we quote to reassure ourselves against disaster?

I think we all would much rather recite the Lord's Prayer metaphorically than actually walk through the valley of the shadow of death ourselves.

Nothing in Quinn's closet was appropriate. Most of it was hand-me-downs from Helen that I couldn't bear to lose. I didn't have time to sew anything. While I was crying to Jason about it, he gently suggested I make the dress, stating that if I was going to sew for her, now was my chance. We begged God for help.

I found the perfect piece of material in my stash, in a box from cousin Heather. I had been saving it for something special. I closed myself in Quinn's nursery and carefully cut the pieces from the pattern.

Then Life happened--exhaustion set in, kids bickered, visitors came, meals were served and conversation took over. My mom offered to sew the dress if I trusted her enough. I gladly let her.

We tweaked the dress, turning up cuffs and adding rosebuds to the collar. I found a ribbon from my baptismal dress that made a perfect sash.

We knew the tiny dress would swallow Quinn whole, but we also knew it wouldn't be seen. It was the act of making that was therapeutic.

The dress was finished just before our appointment at the funeral home. I got a few quick pictures.

11 comments:

Jen Bontrager said...

The dress is beautiful and I'm so glad you and your mom could make it for Quinn. I put her birth announcement up on my fridge last week next to three other babies who died way too soon. I have thought of you every day since Dot gave me the news. I'm praying for you.

Anonymous said...

A beautiful dress for a precious baby. I'm so glad your mom was here and able to take over when you couldn't. Love you!!! Jan

Sabrina said...

The dress is beautiful!

Anonymous said...

Joyce, it's so pretty. I'm so glad that you and your mom were able to do this for Quinn. Not just everyone has your abilities, and I love how much you used those talents for your daughter - before, during and after her short life. - Lynette

Melissa said...

It is God's way of helping you to walk through it.

Melissa said...

beautiful

heather said...

I am amazed of all the beautiful things that you have made from that box of fabric. To tell you the truth, I was embarrassed to give it to you...I thought you might think it was dorky to give fabric. BUT WOW! You have talent like I can't believe. I had made some nursery curtains for Suzy with that material. Shocked there was enough to make that sweet dress.

Tears for you this morning Sweet Joyce. So sorry for the pain right now. I can't imagine the overwhelming task of that moment. So happy your mom was there & could finish the dress.

P.S. I'm sending more fabric for you~I can't wait to see what you will do someday with it.

Anonymous said...

Joyce, we are thinking of you all so much during each day...Wishing you only good and wonderful things forever after...So sorry for what you all have been through. I know I should not say it; but it just is not fair...Love, Joanne

acekotasmomma said...

Joyce, I am so glad you shared this post. It was beautiful, as was the dress. I'm sure Quinn looks so amazing in it. You are an amazing person.

sherri said...

I'm so glad you posted photos of the finished product, Joyce. I wasn't able to see it completed while we were there. It's beautiful and how special to have your mom help you accomplish this priceless gift.

We're all still praying for you here and still turning all the events of the past couple weeks over and over in our minds. Our arms and hearts are still aching.

Love you.

Les said...

Love you, Joyce! Making the dress with your mom was such a sweet act of love for Baby Quinn . . .