I keep a journal of things the kids say that tickle my ears. I share some on Facebook, but here are some recent ones, for your reading pleasure:
After school announcement. "I got really dehydrated today. My blood was really dry. I didn't get much water to drink."
to Jack: "I am NOT happy with you. That was a sin." (Jack had thrown a book at Owen "just for fun.")
to us: "I think Satan was attempting him. It hurt my feelings, and it broke my heart."
to Jason: "Did you eat steak with a handle last night?" (correlation to chicken on the bone)
"Dad, that soap smelled like cinnamon, so I tasted it. It was NASTY! It would be good for punishment.
"Mom, you know what I did? Jack dropped some of his candy corn into the trash, and I gave him two of mine. And I said, 'That's what a friend is.'"
dreaming: "Daddy, your boobies are really small! When I get big, my boobies are gonna be HUGE!"
praying: "I love you Jesus and God. And please, sometime, send Satan to hell."
crying: "This stamp is RUINED for the rest of my life!"
decoding hype: "Mom, I know what your shirt says. It says, 'Together we can stop diabetes.' But really, we can't. Because David has diabetes forever."
a goodbye ritual: "A kissy-kiss and a huggy-hug!" Also: "Here's a squeeze....and a kiss for the squeeze."
in a local restaurant, loudly: "Mom, can you help me wash my hands? And get my wedgie out?"
about her self-chosen outfit: "Well, it looked good in my wonder." Me: "Wonder?" Helen: "Yeah, What I thought it would look like."
"Dad, what do it does?" (insert parental grammar correction) "What do it do's?"
"It is Harst Day?" (Harvest Day)
"Mom, I'm gettin' sweatin' of coloring. I'm sweatin' of coloring."
Me: "Jack, why is your finger in your nose?" Jack: "Because I have to get some energy."
"I want Waisin Bran wif NO waisins."
"windchipers" or "wine schwipers" (windshield wipers)
to Jason: "It's stinky under your nose."