Monday, September 8, 2008

Meanwhile back at the ranch...

When your husband tells you he cleaned up a headless rabbit off the back porch, and had to fight the mama cat and her kittens to do it, you can bet it's going to be a busy day.

Despite the rabbit, today began nicely, with only minor disagreements between Owen and Helen. They amused themselves outside, Helen traipsing around with handfuls of peanut hay mulch, and Owen driving his tricycle.

Post-graham-cracker-snack, Sesame Street and Cedarmont Kids Video, I decided to shell some pecans for a healthy Omega-3 snack for myself. The kids' sixth sense caught me using the lever-operated pecan cracker, and they pushed over a chair to help. When the helping progressed to dabbling in freshly-ground cornmeal and reaching for the wheat germ, the baby monitor and everything else within grasp, I decided it was time for lunch.

During lunch, whereupon Owen accidentally (?) catapulted his spoon across the room, and Helen fed herself wild rice casserole with an occasional assist from her wiggly digits, Jack woke up from the morning’s nap and demanded food. I had already dismissed Owen and helped him wash his hands, so I fed Jack while Helen finished eating. She sneakily progressed to smearing wild rice and cheese while Jack leisurely gorged himself.

I placed Jack in his car seat after a mid-feed belch so I could clean Helen and change her clothes. I then sent her outside to play with her brother. I saw the peanut hay strewn all over the outdoor tile, and determined to clean it up before their father found it.

I was about to reach for the broom when I remembered poor Jack, who was waiting patiently for the rest of his milk. I picked him up to cuddle him, and was met with the hugest, slimiest, yellowist, runniest blow-out poopie I have ever seen. I had to strip him in stages, holding him under the tub faucet after each piece of clothing was removed. Bless him for not crying one tear. Owen wandered in from outside to check on his brother. His dirty feet hit the overspray from the Jack-washing and made mud-prints. Fortunately for everyone, I saw the humor. So did Jack, since he created two pee fountains for good measure.

After Jack was properly fed, I demonstrated the toddler gate to Owen, since he had discovered it in a dark and dusty corner.

Then I checked on Helen outside and made good on my porch clean up. As I began to sweep, I realized that although Jason got rid of the rabbit, he didn't notice the smeared rabbit blood or the animal poop where my children had been playing barefoot. Thank goodness for my spray bottle of Basic-G, my favorite Shaklee disinfectant. Unfortunately, the poop stuck on the tile, even after forceful spraying with the hose. I got out Jason’s tire brush and finished the job. What he doesn’t know…

Feeling rather broomish, I swept inside too—stray rice, wisps of peanut hay, pecan shells. Somewhere in the middle, the phone rang. A frantic-but-successful search ensued. I had left the phone in the nursery, but was thrown off by the sound coming through the baby monitor. I was so pleased to have answered it, since it was a recorded message from Laura David, expressly for Your Home’s Main Grocery Shopper. She was probably following up on the survey she sent me, which was already in the trash. Just curious how many cigarettes I smoke and what brand of instant coffee I use, I suppose.

Somewhere else in the middle of my morning, the cat slipped inside and tore into my homemade whole-wheat bread and chocolate chip muffins which were left over from Friday's impromptu tea party. Mmm...rabbit and cat germs.

This day is only half-way done, and the kids are all in their beds, recharging. I can’t wait to see what else might happen. Jason just informed me that they got the combine stuck in the mud and had to pull it out backwards with a fat-daddy rope. Apparently today’s a Monday all around.

In other good news, Owen finally earned his toy chainsaw for potty training. We are cautiously optimistic that we’re done cleaning out his underwear and dumping solids out of his pull-ups.

And in still other good news, we are thankful for our health insurance:


Carrie said...

LOL, Joyce, LOL. Ahhhh...all I get to look forward to with the addition of a third child.

Anonymous said...

Yup, most definitely a Monday :). Jan

Anonymous said...

I thought I had a Monday yesterday until I read this story. Maybe my day wasn't so bad after all. :)Rosanna

Anonymous said...

Ahhh! You'll miss all that when your children are grown (or maybe not the poopie part!). I can identify with the health insurance thing: my surgery and hospital stay was upwards of $50,000, so thank God for BCBS...And, by the way, how did that surgery work? Are you so pleased? Joanne

Grandma Ruby said...

Joyce, dear daughter! The stuff you must wade through on your busy days with three little ones! I need to pray special prayers for your Mondays. I'm glad Owen is doing better in potty training--what a relief for you! Love to all from Grandma B.

heather said...

Oh Joyce what a crazy day. I had to LOL on the 1/2 way through feeding thing. That happened so many times when I had a newborn too. Although my Jack was never so patient!! Great post. Sounds like days I have only you colored them into such a creative story...more than I could've ever done!

And what a bill from the Children's hospital. So happy that you have insurance!!!!!!!