Aaccckk!! I have HAD it! Enough with the food mess already, kids.
Seriously, I need some advice, help, a bigger cleaning bucket, new dish rags, anything.
My kids--oh, all right, Helen--is the messiest eater in the world. It doesn't matter what she eats, it winds up on her face, her hands, her hair, her chair seat and arms, the table and the floor. Food slides off her spoon fairly often because she doesn't pay attention. Sometimes she still gives up and uses her fingers for chunkier food. The biggest mess is always right after the floor has been mopped. It just makes my blood boil...how irritating.
Helen gave up wearing bibs a long time ago, unless it happened to be one of her brother's old Elmo bibs. Truthfully, a bib could not contain her missed bites.
Today at lunch I made beef and noodles, and somehow she dropped a huge pile of noodles right by her hiney and then sat in them. I had to strip her clothes, and then the noodles from her shirt got stuck in her hair. I sneer at those paper towel commercials where the mom cleans up the toddler in one smiley moment with a one-sheet swipe of the advertised brand.
She is starting to hate being messy, so now she also yells when she gets sticky.
Maybe I should try throwing her food into the blender along with some applesauce, and pouring it into a cup with a lid and a straw.
If I have to have some "Come to Jesus" sessions to teach her to be a neat eater, I will, but one-on-one supervision is pretty difficult for me to pull off right now. (I'm imagining me sitting beside her, breathing down her neck over every disorderly bite.) Seriously, it feels like a full-time job to keep my kids clean. I wipe up one mess, and they're off to the next room to pull out more toys or miss the toilet with bad aim.
I may just lose my ever-lovin' mind.