Saturday, August 30, 2008

Messy, Messy!

Aaccckk!! I have HAD it! Enough with the food mess already, kids.

Seriously, I need some advice, help, a bigger cleaning bucket, new dish rags, anything.

My kids--oh, all right, Helen--is the messiest eater in the world. It doesn't matter what she eats, it winds up on her face, her hands, her hair, her chair seat and arms, the table and the floor. Food slides off her spoon fairly often because she doesn't pay attention. Sometimes she still gives up and uses her fingers for chunkier food. The biggest mess is always right after the floor has been mopped. It just makes my blood irritating.

Helen gave up wearing bibs a long time ago, unless it happened to be one of her brother's old Elmo bibs. Truthfully, a bib could not contain her missed bites.

Today at lunch I made beef and noodles, and somehow she dropped a huge pile of noodles right by her hiney and then sat in them. I had to strip her clothes, and then the noodles from her shirt got stuck in her hair. I sneer at those paper towel commercials where the mom cleans up the toddler in one smiley moment with a one-sheet swipe of the advertised brand.

She is starting to hate being messy, so now she also yells when she gets sticky.

Maybe I should try throwing her food into the blender along with some applesauce, and pouring it into a cup with a lid and a straw.

If I have to have some "Come to Jesus" sessions to teach her to be a neat eater, I will, but one-on-one supervision is pretty difficult for me to pull off right now. (I'm imagining me sitting beside her, breathing down her neck over every disorderly bite.) Seriously, it feels like a full-time job to keep my kids clean. I wipe up one mess, and they're off to the next room to pull out more toys or miss the toilet with bad aim.

I may just lose my ever-lovin' mind.


Anonymous said...

You know that commercial for the vacuum cleaner?? (I think) where the people and all of their things are totally encased in plastic. .. well, you could do that to Helen and her chair, and then put a big sheet of plastic on the floor :). Just kidding, of course. Seriously, I don't know, but when you figure it out. . I'll send Brian to Aunt Joyce's neat eating school :). YOu should have seen his chair and the table after eating yogurt yesterday. .. it looked like he was trying to finger paint with it. Jan

Carrie said...

Tuesday I had just vacuumed and dusted the living room, and then I found Gabriel doing something he knows very well he is not supposed to do. He had gotten some powder, opened it, and squeezed a mess on the floor, which puffs it all around and puts a sticky powder film EVERYWHERE. I. WAS. SO. MAD. AT. HIM. I was mad at him all the rest of the evening. :) I was like, sheesh, lady! But I couldn't help it. Then the next morning, Israel decides to dump some lotion on the living room carpet and follow it up with some powder puffs himself. And this was after they had trailed dry rice krispies over my freshly swept and scrubbed dining room. I was like - now what EXACTLY is the point of cleaning???

The little Jack boy is so squeezy. Can't wait for my own!!! :)

Kris said...

I totally know! Glory and Helen will have to compete for the "messiest eater" title. There was a time when I had to change her whole outfit after every meal even with a bib. It's gotten a bit better, but she still likes to rub food on her legs and feet when I'm not looking. I really don't know what to do. Kalvary was never this messy. Let me know if you find something that works.

Deb said...

I think y'all need a large, indoors, food-motivated dog! And I have just the dog for you named Abraham that would happily lick up any food mess and do a darn good job of it. Plus, Helen might not like being french kissed by the pooch so it might be motivations to smear it around a little less ;) (i'm only halfway kidding!)

Leslie said...

You know Joyce, one day very soon, you're going to look across the table at her and you will smile at her, and she will smile at you, not realizing that you are silently recalling the day when you were about to LOSE YOUR MIND because she was such a sloppy eater. I'm sure it's frustrating in the present, but please believe me when I say they grow up FAST. I just held Luke last night and wow, is he itty bitty. It's all perspective, chicka . . .
Love ya~
You're doing a great job, mama!!

Grandma Ruby said...

Just think how blessed you are because of the writing material you get from your creatively messy daughter! Sorry for you and your friends who have such awful messes to clean up. I know it isn't fun, but reading about it sure is funny! Maybe it is time for a dog. Sure do love those messy grandkids!